As much as I'd like to pretend this will be of interest to EVERYone... it will probably only make sense to people who are/were from Cleveland. (Not deceased, I mean people who wised up and moved somewhere that has more than 2 months of summer).
WMMS, in a nutshell, was the wacky-but-cool rock radio station here in the 1970s and somewhat beyond. A brief history... the station started in 1968, playing the "album-rock" FM format that baby boomers so loved at the time. The station slowly grew into a juggernaut throughout the 1970s, becoming one of the go-to stations for bands like David Bowie, Fleetwood Mac, Cheap Trick, Rush, Bruce Springsteen and numerous others. Only a handful of stations nationwide -- in Boston, New York, Chicago and LA -- had that kind of clout. And this was coming from a city experiencing deep and permanent negative change.
Anyhow, all was well till the mid-1980s, when several things happened....
1) The audience grew up, and the new audience wanted something closer to Contemporary Hits Radio. That meant less of the new Aerosmith album, and more Michael Jackson. Listeners were fragmenting.
2) Long-time programmer Denny Sanders, and promotion genius Jon Gorman, left for a start-up cross-town rival in 1986. Two years later, Kid Leo (arguably the most popular WMMS DJ) left for a staff position at Columbia Records.
3) Having been named the top station in the country by Rolling Stone Magazine for several years, WMMS became the subject of a ballot-stuffing scandal. Most industry insiders eventually admitted that they all stuffed the ballot box to some extent, but the damage was done.
Today, the Buzzard (as it was known, thanks to a cool mascot) soldiers on as an icky quasi-talk-and-alternative-music hybrid. Imagine hearing your least favorite fratboys, endlessly playing Nickelback and drooling over Kaley Cuoco. That's today's Buzzard.
P.S. Music sucks now.
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
Friday, June 14, 2013
The Rolling Stones, Satanic Majesties
In 1967, the Rolling Stones were at the pinnacle of popular music, bested only by their friendly rivals, The Beatles. But just as the Fab Four were being crowned the voices of a generation with "Sgt. Pepper," the Stones were facing drug busts and prison. Not surprisingly, the next Stones LP (recorded during and after legal proceedings) has polarized critics, and even the bandmembers, since its release.
"Their Satanic Majesties" is not a GREAT album on par with those that came immediately before and after ("Between the Buttons" and "Beggar's Banquet"). But a great LP does lurk within! Try re-arranging the songs thusly:
1. "2000 Man"
2. "In Another Land"
3. "Gomper"
4. "She's a Rainbow"
5. "On with the Show"
6. "The Lantern"
7. "Citadel"
8. "2000 Light Years from Home"
Voila! Barely a half-hour, but it flows together nicely and rocks out... and it does NOT feature the aimless noodling of "Sing This All Together..."
There's just enough psych-pop and bluesy undertones to make this the worthy bridge between "Buttons" and "Beggar's."
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
The Hangover Part III
When the original “Hangover” came out 4 years ago, it was billed as a raunchy comedy… and I didn’t see it. That sounded suspiciously (to me) like a pointless Farrelly Brothers-style gross-out.
I finally watched it on the big screen thanks to my magnanimous good buddy (caution: shout out), Donny D. And I loved it. The original film had everything… comedy, suspense, chases, ridiculousness. Every scene promised to top the last, while still propelling the story forward. When the movie ended, it felt like minutes, not hours. To paraphrase Roger Ebert, “no bad movie is short enough; no good movie is too long.”
When the second “Hangover” dropped, I went to a midnight showing. It was a carbon copy of the original, and RIGHTLY SO. Boo to those who complained about the fact that the second movie was essentially the first, with Las Vegas swapped out for Bangkok. To me, the sequel was just as good because it was the same film. That’s an unpopular viewpoint, but think about it: had Todd Phillips and company made a wildly different “Hangover II,” audiences would complain that it wasn’t as good as the first because they strayed from the formula. This is what happens with sequels… filmmakers take a risk and get slapped. “Wayne’s World II” is probably the only comedy sequel in the past 20 years to make a big change and still be a decent film. I loved that movie (and the first), and was thinking about them as I headed into “Hangover III.”
What if Mike Myers & Dana Carvey had made a third “Wayne’s World”? What would the plot be? Maybe Wayne and Garth start a band and really try to make it. Or they start rival bands with Cassandra trying to choose which one to take on tour? I’m just brainstorming here, and I’m sure it would have come out well – probably like “This Is Spinal Tap.” But instead, what if Mike Myers veered off and fashioned the third installment after “Let It Be,” the sad documentary of the Beatles bickering their way through rehearsals and slowly breaking up? Would we have wanted to see Wayne and Garth arguing over middle-eights and concert plans and having Cassandra hovering in the foreground? NO.
Well, that’s pretty much what Todd Phillips did with “Hangover III.” It’s not a good-natured buddy comedy. It’s trying to be “Lethal Weapon 5.”
For the first half of the film, Bradley Cooper and Zach Galifinakis seem very AWARE that they’re playing characters. Only near the end, during a frenetic chase through Vegas, did I see glimmers of their characters from the first 2 films.
The best scene – shimmying down the side of Caesar’s Palace – is again a mix of adventure and comedy. Phil is hanging by a bedsheet when Alan asks him to hold still for an iPhone photo. It’s a half-call back to an earlier gag, but so unexpected it worked. Totally in-character for Alan. And the topper is when Phil, at first annoyed, asks “Did you get it?” and then holds still for another photo when the answer is no.
Ed Helms’ biggest laugh is when he’s not sure he can catch Mr. Chow. Throughout the trilogy, Phil has ragged on Stu for being a dentist and not a doctor. This time, to give Stu confidence, Phil says “you can do this! YOU’RE A DOCTOR!” and the look on Ed Helms’ face is one of the film’s highlights.
Unfortunately, what were highlights in the other 2 films don’t work here. Ken Jeong’s genius portrayal of Mr. Chow is, this time, just a conveyance on which to hang the plot. His accent sounds like he’s imitating himself. Maybe that’s why he has so few funny lines. The undercurrent of hostility that Chow radiated in the first two films is more like wasted whining here.
Wasted scenes seem to be the order of the day. As much as I am obsessed with Heather Graham, a detour to see her character is totally pointless (except for a quick sight gag). The baby (Carlos) from the first film is now a tot, and Alan engages him in a mini-playdate. Instead of being charming or even bizarre, the filmmakers aimed for cute pathos… and failed. They land at unpleasant sadness.
Mr. Chow’s apartment is filled with cockfighting chickens at one point, but aside from filling the screen with feathers, they do not figure into the plot.
Black Doug (Mike Epps) returns and has transformed himself from inept drug-dealer into head of security for a crime boss (John Goodman)… supposedly the job he held during the first film. And then, in a totally unnecessary scene, he’s killed, as are Goodman and a henchman later. Along with someone at the beginning of the film, that’s 4 deaths in “Hangover III,” and none in the first two (although I was surprised by the casualness with which a virtuoso cellist reacted to losing a digit in the second film).
And the list goes on. As a film, it seems to exist solely so Phillips and company can say they made a trilogy. And like “The Godfather,” this trilogy is really two splendid films and one dark, confusing mess.
One of my favorite scenes from the trilogy (NSFW):
And here's something more exciting -- a compilation of the best moments of Mr. Chow:
Friday, April 26, 2013
Crazy Bill Cosby
Now, through the magic of YouTube, I can confuse things even further. Here's Bill guest-hosting "The Tonight Show" in 1974...
He seems charmingly goofy as always. Same goes for this guest-hosting stint in 1986 in an interview with Andy Griffith about the then-new series, "Matlock"...
And it's no longer online, but someone used to have Bill's final appearance as a guest (with host Johnny Carson) in 1992, which was equally nutty. So I guess this proves that he should stick with stand-up. And if this clip is any indication, he has still got it...
That's Cosby with David Letterman on March 19 of this year. I totally expected this to be more weirdness, but he NAILS it. Even when you think he's going smug, it's all part of a routine and he KILLS. Thanks, Bill Cosby. :) For a fascinating look at the demands Cosby puts on his writers, visit Earl Pomerantz's blog. (Pomerantz wrote the famous goldfish funeral episode, and guided the show early on... he has some great insight into Cosby's grueling creative process).
Tuesday, April 9, 2013
Secret Beatles Songs #2
1968: The Beatles launched their own record label, Apple
Records, featuring their own new releases, plus albums and singles from Welsh
songstress Mary Hopkin and Liverpudlian Jackie Lomax. Both of them required instrumental backing
and producing/writing guidance. In
Lomax’s case, his first disk was “Sour Milk Sea,” a rocking George Harrison
tune written in India and featuring a band of George, Nicky Hopkins, Paul
McCartney, Ringo Starr and Eric Clapton.
Not bad, except the tune got lost in the shuffle when it was released
the same day as mega-hits “Hey Jude” and Hopkin’s “Those Were the Days.” The Beatles recorded an acoustic demo of
“Sour Milk Sea” for possible inclusion on the White Album, and an enterprising
music-lover with too much time on his hands (trust me, it’s a him) has combined
George Harrison’s demo vocal with the rocking backing track from Lomax’s
single. Find it on YouTube!
1969: Every Christmas from 1963-69, the Beatles would put
out a flexi disc (those wobbly, plastic things you’d see in magazines), with
best wishes, some off-key singing, etc. By 1968, they couldn’t be bothered to
trot down to the studio and put things together, so DJ Kenny Everett visited
each group member, rolled tape, then edited it all together. Paul’s
contribution in 1969 was a Christmas song, which an enterprising YouTuber (Sum
Yun Gi?) has edited together. It’s catchy, too.
1970: Mary Hopkin’s first single to miss the British Top 10,
“Que Sera Sera” was produced by Paul McCartney and apparently features just
him, Ringo Starr and (supposedly) George Harrison. The track sounds like it could have easily
slotted on “Abbey Road” with more overdubs.
Hopkin fever-CATCH IT!
1970: “It Don’t Come Easy” said everyone alive then. War raged overseas, and gas had soared to 36
cents per gallon. Apollo 13 nearly met
with disaster. Heather Graham was born,
which almost balances the Beatles breaking up.
Anyhow, Ringo Starr had a big hit with his first single, “It Don’t Come
Easy,” which the label said he wrote.
Labels don’t lie, but in this case, I wonder… a demo emerged about 15
years ago, which features the recording of this tune that we all know, except with
George Harrison singing! It’s otherwise identical
to the released version (although there are more prominent “Hare Krishna”
backing vocals, and a few measures were edited out here and there for a better
flow on the released version). Published
reports and foggy memories say the band consists of Ringo, George and (possibly)
Eric Clapton, Stephen Stills, Klaus Voorman and Tom Evans and Pete Ham of
Badfinger.
Thursday, April 4, 2013
RIP Roger Ebert (Siskel & Ebert and Dave)
Back in the 1980s, though, Ebert was full-steam-ahead, co-hosting "Siskel & Ebert" and making TV appearances...
The latest late-night maneuverings
have Jimmy Fallon replacing Jay Leno, and Seth Meyers replacing Fallon on “Late
Night.” That would make him the fourth host of the show (fifth if you
count Tom Snyder’s “Tomorrow” show, which was in the same time slot from 1973-82).
With two decades of blasé lobotomy
under Leno’s belt, I can’t think of a single guest with whom he seems to have a
special rapport. It’s not appointment television.
Looking back, it was always special when Norm MacDonald was on with Conan O’Brien or David Letterman. Charles Grodin and Don Rickles were both hilarious with Letterman and, even earlier, Johnny Carson. Carson and Rodney Dangerfield were classic. Johnny even fell out of his chair from laughter during one appearance.
One of my new favorite host-and-guest-combos is Siskel & Ebert when they would appear on “Late Night with David Letterman” (and later, “Late Show”). The two Chicago film critics were constantly debating on their own program – sometimes angrily, sometimes dismissively, sometimes hilariously, sometimes warmly, but always intelligently. On Dave’s show, it’s as if they were trying to top eachother. And sometimes, Dave.
Sadly, not all of their appearances
are on YouTube right now. I’ve included a list, with dates, descriptions, and
links below (I did not link their final appearance in 1998, because it makes me
sad).
-Show #17: 3/1/1982
-Show #169: 1/5/1983
-Show #770: 10/2/1986... Part of
viewer mail
-Show #1136: 5/3/1989... the pair
stand in the wings and wait to review a movie
-Show #1491: 6/26/1991... Siskel
& Ebert stand on Paul's shoulders as tiny angels
-Show #1495: 7/10/1991... Celebrity
reaction to a news story
-Show #1711: 11/13/1992...
Celebrity audience
-Show #1727: 12/18/1992... giving
acting lessons
-Show #30: 10/8/1993... Siskel
& Ebert are in the super famous audience
-Show #185: 6/27/1994... Siskel
& Ebert working at Rock America
-Show #188: 6/30/1994
-Show #273: 11/18/1994...
commercial for Big Ass Ham
-Show #327: 2/16/1995
-Show #336: 3/1/1995... Top Ten
Nicknames for Dave
-Show #605: 6/10/1996
-Show #748: 2/12/1997... Oscar picks
-Show #822: 6/20/1997
-Show #972: 3/5/1998
-Show #1000: 5/1/1998... Siskel
proclaims Leonardo DiCaprio to be hunky during the CBS Mailbag
-Show #1120: 11/20/1998... Final appearance
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
Why Guitar Center Sucks
I have decided to forego my review of “Rock Center” after Brian
Williams backed out of helping me install my air conditioner. So today, it’s on
to some personal business relating to my good friend.
Let’s call her… Pauline. That’s what the homeless wino who sits outside the music store calls her. Kidding- he WORKS at the store.
And so does Pauline. The wino (David) is a first-class ass. He
teaches guitar. Pauline mans (womans?) the front desk. Pauline was smitten by David
when he started working there. But then, Pauline and I were going to
do a quick recording in one of the practice rooms, and David was like, “include
me… I want to help… what are you guys doing… let me play mandolin.”
And I’m thinking, “go away! This requires talent!”
I didn’t actually SAY that; I just thought it and then, later, yelled it at him.
And I’m thinking, “go away! This requires talent!”
I didn’t actually SAY that; I just thought it and then, later, yelled it at him.
Fast forward a few days… Pauline is not-so-innocently text-flirting with him like a 9th-grade schoolgirl… who has been held back 17 times. He lets it slip that he’s married, and then immediately adds, “but my wife and I have an understanding.”
STOP –morality time.
First of all, Utah is lovely this time of year.
Second, what a scumbag.
Third, he has children.
Fourth, does he think Pauline is so desperate that she’ll
jump on this opportunity to wreck a family and make things awkward at work?
Fifth, what a scumbag.
So she said, “oh, never mind” and ended it.
And since then, she has been able to poison the entire staff against him. Subtly. For example, one of the drum instructors asked Pauline to add together his Monday and Tuesday checks, and she said, “oh, just like David wants to add me to his collection of whores?!?!!” Then she threw a handful of bassoon reeds at him and screamed, “Vive La Difference!” It took 3 paramedics just to remove the splinters.
(By the way, big sale on bassoon reeds this week).
So today, he sends a text to the boss saying he’s quitting, he can’t take the atmosphere, everyone is annoying and he just wants to stay home and play guitar. Basically the same thing George W. Bush said on his second day in office.
Right now, Pauline and our acid-tongued Swedish friend, Lena Jr. (don't ask) are drunk-texting insults to David while he laments his poor choices in life. Everyone feels a little better about themselves.
Nothing this exciting would ever happen at Guitar Center.
Open Mic Night
Now I have a beard, and I’m still lonely, BUT when it comes
to stand-up, I always have a ready answer: “I already did.”
When I lived in Southern California, there were more open
mic nights than transvestites.
There was always a guy who had taken improv classes and
thought that meant he could do stand-up by flopping around the stage. A comedian,
I mean… not a cross-dresser. Why can’t they be both?!
There was always a dude who purposely was filthy, filthy,
flthy so he’d get kicked off the stage after a few seconds, thus making a name
for himself. (Clubs usually insist that open mic-ers work clean).
There was always a cute girl who was moderately funny,
except her material was about dating problems. I’m not buying it!
I always saw a soccer mom who was scared to death and would
mumble aimlessly on stage. I always felt bad for her and wondered if she had a single,
younger sister.
And there was always someone who stole their entire act from
an old HBO special. (Redd Foxx seemed to be a frequent target).
Then there were a bunch of guys who looked like they wished
they were sober enough to be considered stoners… they would have one funny
story and 4 ½ minutes of lame “observations” (like over-eating while stoned -- so original!).
And then there was me. Not really fitting into any of these
categories, I decided to fashion a story/routine like Bill Cosby. Which was
dumb, because I never really liked Jell-o pudding.
The first time I went up, the club was having weekly
“contests” in which the 4 or 6 best comedians would be invited back the next
week. And I killed. KILLED! I killed so much, Ted Bundy’s uncle came up
afterward and said, “you’re making my nephew look bad.” Then he offered me a
lift in his Volkswagen.
The next week, I came back and the owner put me on first
because I had killed. But he said I should do all-new material. So I killed
with two bits; the rest got minor chuckles. I came off-stage and he says, “why
didn’t you only tell the jokes that killed?”
The third week, I combined my best material from both
appearances, and I killed again. At the end of the night, I was voted out in
favor of 1) a kid who stole half his routine VERBATIM from Redd Foxx, 2) a
totally unfunny-but-cute girl who also did a magic trick, and 3) a smelly
stoner who talked about rambled parent-teacher conferences. Not sure if he was the parent or the teacher.
Most galling was that a very funny but plain-looking girl
also got voted out. On second thought, she might have been Ross the Intern. I
thought Hollywood had more integrity!
So the next night, I went to a different club. A rotund MC
was sitting there in a Hawaiian shirt looking over some papers. I introduced
myself, and when we shook hands, I thought he was wearing a catcher’s mitt.
Wrong – he just had A HUMONGOUS HAND. Seriously. This thing was BIGGER than a
catcher’s mitt. And it had been signed the Angels AND the Dodgers. This was
clearly a medical condition, so I stuck to my vicarious WASP-y upbringing... and
said nothing.
He gave me an index card to write out my intro.
Here’s EXACTLY what I wrote:
“Our next comic comes to us direct from Chicago. He is to comedy
what Michael Jordan was (beat) to comedy. Ladies and gentleman....”
Short and sweet. I even wrote “beat” so he’d know where to pause, in case the only comedic bones in his body were, in fact, buried in
that giant hand. He glanced at the card, grinned and that was it.
The show starts. One by one, he introduced people with the
same kooky-but-bubbly-persona. Sort of like a Jackie Gleason impersonator at
Put-In-Bay. I had enough time to go feed my meter and come back -- twice.
Finally, he gets up on stage, looks at me, and says, “Our next comic comes to
us direct from Chicago, and he really wants to beat Michael Jordan. Ladies and
gentleman...”
What what what?
I want to beat Michael Jordan?
The audience didn’t know what to do. “Is this next comic a
moron?” they, and I, thought. So I did the only thing I could think of—I made
fun of his handicap.
“Actually, my intro said ‘I am to comedy what Michael Jordan
was… to comedy’. But you probably couldn’t see that because your giant hand was
covering South Africa.”
And so it went.
“How about a nice hand for all the other comics? And a
NORMAL hand for our MC, Bazooka Joe.”
(I don’t even know what that means.)
“Do you know what the difference is between you and Michael
Jordan? He needed BOTH hands to pick up the United Center.”
All of a sudden, I noticed only the front couple tables were
laughing. Everyone else was too far back and never saw the giant hand. So I decided to
be a grown-up and make fun of them, too.
“Hey, tables in the back – don’t make me come over there. I
did these jokes earlier in my room and I laughed my a-s off.”
Thank you, Don Rickles.
“Any more problems from the balcony and Lincoln’s gonna get
it.”
There was no balcony, just me now SHAMELESSLY stealing from
Rickles. But everyone was laughing because they expected me, a meek,
doctor-ish-looking fellow, to be ruminating quietly about the funny differences
between Medicare and Medicaid, or something. They did not expect a barrage of
disconnected insults. After a few more, I used the remaining time for my REAL
jokes (which went fine), and then left the stage, secure in the knowledge that
I could never set foot in that place again.
As I walked out, chatting with another “comic," Mr. MC came running after me. I awaited a slap that
would send me into a deep, deep coma at best.
“That was hilarious!” he excitedly told me. “Will you come back next week?”
Relieved, I asked, “Well... what does it pay?”
Next time… a review of “Rock Center” if I can find a sleeping family with a TV set by next Friday.
Thursday, March 28, 2013
An Open Letter to Sirius-XM
After viewing your ad campaign from the past few years, I
have to agree that Sirius XM has shaken up radio!
I recently had a minor fender-bender when my car was
chain-sawed into pieces by a jealous husband, so my insurance company rented me
a lovely Chevy Cruze for a week, complete with cigarette smell and an XM radio.
The cigarette smell went away, but Sirius did NOT.
I mostly stuck to Deep Tracks, Classic Vinyl, Hits of the
50s/60s/70s/80s, the classic soul channels (49-50) and the comedy channels (96-99
or so).
The readout screen was very helpful in finding out where I
was on the dial, and I learned a lot. For example....
I did not know that Jimmy Page has changed his name to
"Jimi."
I did not know that "Why Can't We Live Together,"
"Mother and Child Reunion," "Funk #49" and "The Load
Out/Stay" were all so WILDLY popular with listeners, that they had to be
repeated hourly.
I DID know that "Get Back" is a piece of Classic
Vinyl... because the screen read "Get Back (2009 remaste...)." So
you're pointing out that you're playing the CD of a song on the vinyl channel? What?
At least you could have used the original mono mix (which is on the easily
available mono "Past Masters" CD).
And the list of grievances goes on. That annoying bit of LP
lead-in surface noise between songs on the vinyl channel? You're not playing
vinyl! That’s just insulting. During the weekend, I was listening to the George
Carlin marathon. Not only was the sound sub-AM radio, but you used the vinyl
scratch there, too! And because of compression/EQ, the sound effect was like an
ear-drum-splitting bit of howl-round (as the British say). George Carlin would
be spinning in his grave at 33 rpm, minimum.
Also, the sound goes to static when I'm under a bridge, or
near a building! What? This isn’t 1974. Which brings to mind an old Stephen
Wright joke: "My friend is a radio announcer. His voice goes out any time
he drives under a bridge."
I love Stephen Wright, and I'm glad he was all over your
"Just For Laughs" comedy channel. Occasionally, I'd hear Bill Cosby
or Mitch Hedburg. But 90% of the time it was no-name comics who might be
opening at Yuk-Yuk's Funny Farm in Boise. Or AWFUL song parodies. (Oddly
enough, the funniest unknown comic I heard was Kerri Pomarolli, who is
apparently big on the Christian circuit; she was quite good). Why not mix in
more albums (and old specials or Letterman appearances) by Robert Klein, Albert
Brooks, Bob & Ray, Adam Sandler, George Miller, David Spade, Garry
Shandling, Gilbert Gottfried, David Cross? The list goes on and on. Even old
appearances on Johnny Carson's "Tonight Show" would be funnier! (By
the way, his estate is trying to re-introduce his work to a new generation…
might be worth a phone call to Jeff Sotzing).
As for the other comedy channels -- Blue Collar comedy seems
to have the blend down about right for its audience. But "The
FoxxHole"?! What the hell?! I have no idea what that's supposed to be. It
was mostly terrible hip-hop in terrible fidelity (yes, I'm aware you probably
use lesser bandwidth on what are supposed to be talk-only channels). “Playboy
Radio”? All I heard was tips on buying shoes. Dress shoes.
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
Secret Beatles songs #1
KIDDING—I’m paid by the letttter.
Last Christmas, EMI re-released the Beatles’ original UK albums on vinyl. The group’s “core” catalog has remained 217 songs spread over 15 CDs/LPs.
But what happens when you want more? Solo Beatle albums are obviously a good choice, and most of those from the 1970s/80s have their moments. But today I discuss another option… rare albums, hard-to-find songs, or just flat-out illegal (but easy to find) bootlegs. Enjoy! And be sure to visit me in prison!
1961: The Beatles (John, Paul, George and Pete Best) were playing another residency in Hamburg, Germany when they were drafted by Polydor Records to back up fellow British expatriate Tony Sheridan. Producer Bert Kaempfert set up the quintet in a local school auditorium and recorded several songs, one of which (“My Bonnie”) became a sizable German hit. With Sheridan singing, the Fab Four were credited as “The Beat Brothers” at the time. But in the course of the session, they managed to cut an uptempo version of the Tin Pan Alley standard “Ain’t She Sweet” (with John on lead vocal) and “Cry For a Shadow” (a Lennon-Harrison instrumental, intended to mimic the style of British mega-stars, The Shadows). The latter two songs wouldn’t come out until the height of Beatlemania, with “Ain’t She Sweet” even hitting the Top 40. Both tunes are on “Anthology 1,” but a stereo version of “Ain’t She Sweet” is on the 1974 compilation “The History Of British Rock, Volume II” (Sire SASH-3705/2); that album also includes several Lennon-McCartney songs given away to fellow Merseybeat artists.
1962: Six months after the Tony Sheridan session, on New Year’s Day, a very hungover Fab Four entered Decca Studios in London for an audition. They played 12 covers and 3 originals (“Love of the Loved,” “Hello Little Girl,” “Like Dreamers Do”). The latter 2 originals, plus 3 covers (“Searchin’,” “Three Cool Cats” and “The Sheik of Araby”) are on “Anthology 1.” The rest… well, they’re easily findable on YouTube, sync’d up to images of the band (just search for “Beatles Decca audition”). If you want them on vinyl, you could buy a nice pair of early 1980s albums titled “The Silver Beatles” on Phoenix Records. OR, check out the “Deccagone” label. In 1976, some enterprising (and GENIUS) record presser made seven colored-vinyl 45s, compiling all the Decca audition tunes (except “Take Good Care of My Baby”). They’re all packaged in sleeves reminiscent of the mid-1960s Capitol picture sleeves. Awesome. This “label” also put out an EP of 4 songs from the group’s 1963 Royal Command Performance. And Decca Records made out OK, too…. George Harrison tipped them to a hot R&B group playing in London, The Rolling Stones. And except for all those friends and bandmembers dying, the Stones have done OK.
1964: It’s the height of Beatlemania. You’re a big, shiny executive in a bad suit at Capitol Records. There isn’t enough Beatles product coming through the pipeline. What do you do? What DO you DO?! First, get a better suit. Second, start hanging out with the Beach Boys and hope to meet some local groupies. Third, you order a recording of the Beatles' performance at prestigious Carnegie Hall. BUT, the Musician’s Union says “fat chance!” To which you should respond, “that means the same thing as ‘slim chance’." Then you record the group at the Hollywood Bowl, just to mess with those New York eggheads. That’s what Capitol did that summer. And, after being unhappy with the tapes, again the following summer (twice!). No one was happy with the quality of the 1965 shows, either. Fast-forward to 1977, and Capitol enlisted Beatles producer George Martin to distill an LP from the shows. It’s never been reissued on CD, but vinyl copies are easy to find. A nice bootleg double-CD containing all three concerts is also floating around the ‘net.
Next time... more words.
Thursday, March 21, 2013
The Tonight Show
The big, big news in the past few weeks has been Syria. And
also "The Tonight Show." So as a responsible media personality, I
will take the high road and write about both...
For those of you too young to remember or care, "The
Tonight Show" essentially started as "Broadway Open House"
around 1950 and has had a series of hosts including Morey Amsterdam (Buddy on
"The Dick Van Dyke Show"), TV experimenter Ernie Kovacs, dead author
Steve Allen, crankophile and Cantonite Jack Paar, Johnny Carson (the master),
unfunny Jay Leno, poor @Conan O'Brien, and now stupid Jay Leno.
Carson took over in 1962, moved the show to California in
1972, and retired in 1992. I guess 1982 was a slow year. Unless you had a
DeLorean (which he did, because he invested in the company).
Most tapes before 1972 were erased or discarded, because
videotape was expensive then and NBC had bills to pay (mostly hookers).
Leno became permanent guest-host in 1987, which meant he was
usually there 1 or 2 nights a week, and was funny 1 or 2 nights a month. I
remember if I tuned in and Ed McMahon said, "Johnny's guest host tonight
is Jay Leno," I would yell "CRAP CRAPPITY CRIP CRAP CRAP." Then
my Mom would run downstairs and say "why aren't you in bed?! Tomorrow is
your first day of Kindergarten." I was 12.
Anyhow, Leno eventually wormed his way into the host chair
thanks to a crazy-scary manager. As proof, watch the
made-for-HBO-but-still-in-color-movie "The Late Shift." Everything on
TV is real, by the way. The movie is posted on YouTube.
So now NBC is owned by Comcast in a deal so juicy that NBC
was declared to have a value of "$0" on the ledger -- seriously. If
you've ever dealt with Comcast, you know that hitting zero over and over again
only annoys their barely-coherent customer service people. Once, when I called
to complain that Animal Planet was staticy, they tried to sell me internet
service by reading from their script, "so, may I ask what kind of computer
and operating system you have?" And I said "I have an Atari 800XL
running Windows 3.1." (All of the computer geeks just spit out their
coffee).
I could hear her break out in a cold sweat because I'm sure
neither of those things were on her script -- they're neither compatible nor
even useable anymore. She put me on hold forever and then came back and dropped
the subject like nothing had happened. And it turned out that Animal Planet was
staticy because I only had super-basic cable (6 local channels and %#@$ Bravo).
But back to "The Tonight Show." @Jimmy Fallon was a
boring mess when he started, but he's quickly gotten awesome. "Reading
Rainbow" as played by The Doors? HUZZAH! The buzz is he was tapped because
he can generate hit-getting pieces for the web. The most Leno has done is
"Jaywalking" and the Dancing Itos (remember them?).
This time, I doubt there will be a sweetheart deal where
Leno lands in primetime. Maybe he'll become host of "The Today Show"
and Matt Lauer will be tossed to "cleanse" that show of the whole Ann
Curry mess. Maybe Leno turns up on TBS, AFTER "Conan"! Maybe he
becomes a comedic commentator on CNN or FoxNews or RedEye (ick). He could
always land on Comedy Central at 10 p.m. Think about it: terrible
"American Pie" spin-off movies from 8-10, then Leno for an hour, then
"Daily Show" and "Colbert." (I bet they make Leno only 30
minutes, starting at 10:30, on Wednesdays because of "South Park"). Who
knows. He's a Wile E. Coyote.
But the bigger question that's nagging me is: will our
beloved @ David Letterman retire? Fallon is designed to compete with Jimmy
Kimmel, not Letterman. Dave has his own turf, and may very well fall a bit in
the ratings to Fallon (at least in key demographics). Will he call it a night? If
so, word on the street is that you can score drugs behind the Cubby Bear
tavern. Word on the street also says that Craig Ferguson's contract guarantees
him Dave's slot. When Conan began his long (7-month) run on
"Tonight," Dave won the overall ratings, but Conan was stronger with
young viewers. And the new "Tonight Show" would originate from New
York, which is already a tougher sell than L.A. when booking guests.
And who will replace Jimmy Fallon? Not Carson Daly. He tried
-- and failed -- to do a traditional talk show and NBC sent him packing. Literally.
Anyone who's seen it, (usually by accident), knows it's now a sort of crappy,
travelling newsmagazine. Lots of taped segments and interviews at different
venues and whatnot. He's not funny, but he makes up for it by being a
disengaged and boring interviewer. He makes Ryan Seacrest look like Brian
Dunkelman's agent.
Now on to Syria... I don't think they would understand
"The Tonight Show," even if it were dubbed or subtitled. Humor often
doesn't translate to other cultures. Just my two cents.
Welcome. Back.
Jack Benny here... I figured for my 39th Birthday I would reward myself with a blog. So, following an intense month on the phone with PC Club tech support, here I am.
Many of you are probably saying, "but Jack, I thought you passed away in 1974." And my response to that is, "I can't hear you! This is a computer."
In the past few decades, though, I've had much time to reflect on pop culture... David Letterman, "Saturday Night Live," The Beatles v. The Stones, Heather Graham, Don Rickles, The Cubs (seriously?!), Motown v. Stax, record collecting, Heather Graham, muscle cars, "Curb Your Enthusiasm," "The Larry Sanders Show," "The Rockford Files" and Heather Graham.
So those are some of the things I'll be writing about. Except for Heather Graham; my attorney says the letters I wrote to her are being held as evidence. I hate lawyers.
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