Friday, February 9, 2024

The Chevy Chase Show

Fox gave Chevy Chase his own talk show to debut in the fall of 1993 - the same time David Letterman jumped from 12:30am on NBC to 11:30pm CBS. If you're reading this, you already know it was a monumental flop. The only entertaining portion was the inventive opening sequence. Judge for yourself, while the links are still active:

1) 9/7/1993-Chase presents comedy and talk fare; guests Goldie Hawn, Whoopi Goldberg

2) 9/8/1993-Jason Priestley; the Enchanters

3) 9/9/1993-Harry Anderson; Martin Short

4) 9/10/1993-Kathleen Turner; Robert Townsend; Charlie Kazan, "Wiener Guy"

5) 9/13/1993-Tom Selleck; musician/comedian Rudy Coby

6) 9/14/1993-Stephen Stills; Time Matheson; Scott Flansburg, "the human calculator"

7) 9/15/1993-Dennis Hopper; Anita Morris

8) 9/16/1993-Jennie Garth ("Beverly Hills, 90210"); Garrett Morris; 12-year-old pianist Sergio Salvatore

9) 9/17/1993-Corbin Bernsen; Al Franken; singer Oleta Adams; "Henry the lizard-lover"

10) 9/20/1993-Geraldo Rivera; singer Deborah Allen; finger fitness

11) 9/21/1993-Rita Rudner; Engelbert Humperdinck; tennis match with Billie Jean King and Chris Evert

12) 9/22/1993-Sinbad; Roy Toft & Pancho the Singing Parrot

13) 9/23/1993-Robert De Niro; model Gabrielle Reese; actor/writer Chazz Palmintieri; 87-year-old musician Doc Cheatham

14) 9/24/1993-Kenny Loggins; actor Dean Cain; Tom Squier, "road-kill gourmet"; 11-year-old pilot Victoria Van Meter

15) 9/27/1993-Ron Silver; Jimmy Connors; chef Kazuaki Uehara

16) 9/28/1993-Comedian George Wallace; actor Jonathan Frakes; stockbroker/mentalist Mark Stone

17) 9/29/1993-Sam Elliott; actress Pamela Anderson; Jackie Bibby, "cobra kisser"

18) 9/30/1993-Jamie Lee Curtis; Mark Nevin, "insect chef"

19) 10/1/1993-Musician/poet Henry Rollins; "Tuvan boy wonder"; Kim Alexis; former hockey player Ron Duguay

20) 10/4/1993-Dan Aykroyd; actress Lauren Tom; Susan Montgomery Williams, "bubble gum champ"

21) 10/5/1993-Dave Thomas; basketball player AC Green; "potato chip faces"

22) 10/6/1993-Queen Latifah; actor Doug E Doug; Bill Nye, "science guy"

23) 10/7/1993-Humorist Joe Queenan; actress Lauren Tom

24) 10/8/1993-Michael Damian; Valerie Bertinelli; Taylor Dayne

25) 10/9/1993-Burt Reynolds; musician Dan Fogelberg; comedian Pam Stone

26) 10/12/1993-Lauren Holly; David Fuhrer, "backward talker"; singer Maria McKee

27) 10/13/1993-Band Canadian Brass; Elizabeth Tashjian, nut-museum lady

28) 10/14/1993-Martin Sheen; magician/comedian Rudy Coby; actress Alexandra Paul

29) 10/15/1993-Jim Varney; Jean Stephens, Mary Weems, butterfly-collecting twins

On top of these guests, Janis Ian (musical guest on the very first SNL) was slated for week 3, A. Martinez for week 6, and Elizabeth Ashley and Don Rickles for the unproduced week 7.

Thursday, January 25, 2024

The Billy Crystal Comedy Hour

Spring, 1982: NBC’s primetime schedule is in flux. The network had been faltering since the mid-1970s, with things rapidly devolving from 1978 until June 1981, when Fred Silverman was president. Going up against very successful shows on CBS and ABC – shows which he had put on the air during his tenures there – compounded the misery. By mid-1981, they had just six shows in the top 30: “Little House on the Prairie” (#10), “Real People” (#12), “Diff’rent Strokes” (#17), “Facts of Life” (#26), “CHiPs” (#24) and a Monday night movie (#29). That number would shrink to four by the same time next year.

By then, MTM Productions founder Grant Tinker had taken over. He was left with a faltering schedule, the aftermath of the 1981 writer’s strike, and a handful of commitments which would finally bow at midseason, for the spring of 1982: “Teachers Only” and “Cassie & Co.” (part of the network’s commitment to purchase series from Johnny Carson’s company), “One of the Boys” (with Mickey Rooney), “Jokebook” (Hanna-Barbera), the ambitious “Chicago Story” (from Eric Bercovici, producer of “Shogun”) and “Fame.”

All of these appear to be deals that Fred Silverman made on his way out the door. Always a fan of variety and the ABC show “Soap” (which he greenlit) he also put “The Billy Crystal Comedy Hour” on the air in the spring of 1982.

Largely forgotten today, there are just three clips online, all from the first episode, linked below. The somewhat conventional visual look was offset by a pretty hip slate of guest stars. An episode guide follows.

Episode 1: January 30, 1982

The Pointer Sisters, John Candy as Orson Welles, Dave Thomas and Rick Moranis as Bob Hope and Woody Allen, “The Punk Honeymooners” sketch. This episode possibly includes Joe Flaherty as Bing Crosby.

Episode 2: February 6, 1982

Robert Urich, Morgan Fairchild. Includes a spoof of early-morning talk shows, a one-man stage show, “The Alexander Haig Story,” and a parody of “Young Man with a Horn” (“Young Man with a Mouth.”) The Manhattan Transfer performs “Trickle Trickle” and “Spies in the Night.”

Episode 3: February 13, 1982

Robert Conrad, Nell Carter. Sketches include a sex change for Reggie Jackson (Nell Carter), a screen test for Robert Conrad directed by Fernando Lamas (Crystal), and a medley of Lou Carter songs including “What's a Matter with Me?” and “If I Had a Nose Full of Nickles.”

Episode 4: February 20, 1982

Mel Tillis, Lynn Redgrave. Sketches include Fernando Lamas (Crystal) interviewing Tillis, a doctor's X-ray machine suddenly becomes a video game, and Uncle Julius (Billy) is upset with his bridge partner (Michael McManus). Tillis sings “It's Gonna Be One of Them Days.”

Episode 5: February 27, 1982

Rob Reiner, Smokey Robinson, Shelley Duvall. Includes a carload of irritated vacationers who get on each other’s nerves, TV wrestling parody, and Uncle Julius (Billy) is mugged. Billy compares baseball player's names and how they each effect their image. Smokey Robinson sings “Tell Me Tomorrow.”


Crystal would sign off with his raspy jazzbo character's "Can you dig it? I knew that you could" each week. Looking over the guide, there are also signs of what he would do on SNL as a castmember during season 10 (1984-85), following several appearances on the show during season 9.    

The show struggled on Saturday nights at 10 p.m., up against a movie on CBS and the #30 show, “Fantasy Island” on ABC. When NBC announced its 1982-83 season, all the midseason shows were gone except “Fame.” In their place was a slate of new shows: “Cheers,” “Family Ties,” “St. Elsewhere,” “Taxi” (imported from ABC), “Knight Rider,” “Remington Steele," "Silver Spoons," "Mama's Family" and midseason shows including “The A-Team" and "Buffalo Bill." 

Wednesday, August 23, 2023

Joan Rivers BBC2 CAN WE TALK

We all know Joan Rivers had a flop talk show in 1986... Fox's "Late Show," which she hosted from Oct. 9 of that year until May 15, 1987 (ending the same week as "Hill Street Blues" btw). But earlier in the year she had a DIFFERENT flop talk show... "Can We Talk?" on BBC2. I came across this curio while looking for a clip of Kenneth Williams, from the "Carry On" films. Turns out he was the guest on episode 3 (of six) in the show's only season (British seasons being really short). On imdb, someone who must have watched the entire run had this to say:

"It was the kind of tacky, tasteless rubbish for which American television was once notorious ( and which we in the U.K. now seem to have adopted as the norm for chat shows ). Guests included the late Christopher Reeve, Kenneth Williams, Samantha Fox ( whom she asked if she was a virgin ), Kermit the frog ( yes, really ) and Bernard Manning, the latter famously humiliating co-host Peter Cook with: "You used to be very funny once, Peter.". Rivers' interviewing technique was atrocious, most of the questions concerned sex, and as a result the show looked tired after just one edition. Cook's contribution to the show was negligible, it was painful to watch this comedy genius reduced to playing second fiddle to the ghastly Rivers. Fortunately, the show did not get a second season."

Sounds a lot like her American show, actually, which didn't seem that bad from the clips I've seen. The two shows even look similar, visually. No sign of her late husband Edgar in the credits, but UK comedy legend Barry Cryer is listed as a script associate on imdb.

The episodes are listed as March 10, 17, 24, 31 and April 7 and 14, 1986. This was during a long break in between her guest-hosting stints on "The Tonight Show." In fact, after the BBC2 show ended, she would host just one more week for Johnny before they had a falling out over her move to Fox.

The only info I can find on specific episodes is that #3 included Kenneth Williams, Dudley Moore, Phil Collins, and Samantha Fox. The rest of the guest list on imdb is pretty epic: Christopher Reeve, Cher, Kermit, Joan Collins, Jacqueline Bisset, Rupert Everett, Susan George, Tracey Ullman, George Hamilton, Twiggy, Barry Manilow, Marvin Hamlisch, Bob Monkhouse, Depeche Mode, Ray Parker Jr., Michael Barrymore, Su Pollard, Cynthia Payne, Bernard Manning, Feargal Sharkey, Russell Grant and Arcadia (a Duran Duran offshoot). Dr. Ruth and Dame Edna are listed as appearing in two episodes, while Nancy Reagan is listed as an uncredited phone cameo. Almost all of these guests were famous in America, too, and I have to think this was Joan's way of showing NBC she could headline a show?

The two clips I found are Dudley Moore and then Kenneth Williams.

For more on Joan's talk shows, check out her 1969 series "That Show."

Tuesday, June 6, 2023

Chicago's Greatest Hits - vinyl or CD?

Chicago has released numerous hits compilations since their last big hit (1989’s “What Kind of Man Would I Be?”)… but none of those compilations are available on vinyl. For that, you’d have to reach back to their 70s/80s heyday, and you still might not get a complete picture of the group.

{NOTE: I am converting all roman numerals to digits, for clarity.}

The Christmas, 1975 release “Chicago 9” sampled material from their 1969 debut through 1974’s “Chicago 7” (except #3). They would continue to hit the Top 40 through 1978, with the first two singles off of “Hot Streets” (aka Chicago 12). After that, though, “Chicago 13” (1979) and 14 (1980), despite containing some fine music, didn’t generate any hits. Columbia Records rounded out their contract with 1981’s “Greatest Hits Vol. II” (now considered Chicago 15), which covered the material from 8-12, plus a few earlier tracks.

The group jumped to Warner Bros. the next year, where albums 16, 17, 18, and 19 came out at two-year intervals and generated another batch of hits. Christmas 1989’s “Greatest Hits 1982-89” (Chicago 20), collected 12 of those.

That would leave 17 charting singles unaccounted for – five of which hit the Top 40.

While Chicago was signed to Warner Bros., their old label made a habit of releasing occasional compilations of old material. To their credit (or perhaps due to legalities), Columbia did not try to title them with roman numerals and disrupt the group’s sequence of studio albums. 1983’s “If You Leave Me Now” overlaps with Chicago 9 and 15 and grabs one charting single (#32 “Another Rainy Day in New York City”) and one which didn’t chart (“Song For You,” their last Columbia single). But 1985’s “Take Me Back to Chicago” is much better: seven charting singles and two album tracks (though the title track was on Chicago 15).

The next compilation, 1991’s “Group Portrait,” did a great job of summarizing the Columbia years – but it left off the underrated (and polarizing) “Street Player,” which didn’t touch the Hot 100 but did reach #91 on the R&B chart in 1979. "Group Portrait" never made it to vinyl and is also non-canonical.

So is the solution just to go with the CD compilations? I don’t think so.

Chicago 23 and 24 were single CDs released in 1997-98, and they leave off a lot of great cuts in favor of some new material (which would hit the Adult Contemporary chart). Chicago 31 (the 40th anniversary hits compilation from 2007) has the same problem. And all the notable cuts from those albums are on 2002’s “Very Best of Chicago” double CD (though even then, they leave out "Street Player," "Gone Long Gone," "Thunder and Lightning" and "Listen").

In 2003, Chicago released “The Box” (#28) followed by 2005’s “Love Songs”; neither one is on vinyl (and the latter is another superfluous rehash).

So, if you must buy vinyl Chicago compilations, stick with 9, 15, 20, and “Take Me Back to Chicago.” This still leaves out four charting Columbia singles (plus one that didn't), four on Warner Bros. (including the generally disowned remake of "25 or 6 to 4"), plus two charting singles released after the 1969-89 golden era (see table below). I would also love to see albums tracks "Where Do We Go from Here," "A Hit by Varèse," "Mississippi Delta City Blues," and "Byblos" included. Maybe they can put out a 60th anniversary boxed set with 9, 15, 20, "Take Me Back" and one extra disc with the material above.

As for new material released after 1989, there's Chicago 21 (1991), 22 (1995, the Big Band album), 30 (2006), 32 (2008, but recorded in 1993), 36 (2014), and 38 (2022... which is Joe Thomas fantasy camp product; look him up). All other releases since 1991 have been compilations, Christmas albums, live albums, or re-recordings.


SINGLES DISCOGRAPHY:

Mar-70: Make Me Smile (#9)

Jun-70: 25 or 6 to 4 (#4)

Oct-70: Does Anybody Really Know What Time It Is? (#7)

Feb-71: Free (#20)

Apr-71: Lowdown (#35)

Jun-71: Beginnings [reissue]/Colour My World (#7)

Sep-71: Questions 67 and 68 [reissue] (#24)/I'm a Man (#49)

Jul-72: Saturday in the Park (#3)

Oct-72: Dialogue (Part I & II) (#24)

Jun-73: Feelin' Stronger Every Day (#10)

Sep-73: Just You 'n' Me (#4)

Feb-74: (I've Been) Searchin' So Long (#9)

Jun-74: Call on Me (#6)

Oct-74: Wishing You Were Here (#11)

Feb-75: Harry Truman (#13)

Apr-75: Old Days (#5)

Aug-75: Brand New Love Affair (Part I and II) (#61)

Jun-76: Another Rainy Day in New York City (#32)

Jul-76: If You Leave Me Now (#1)

Mar-77: You Are on My Mind (#49)

Sep-77: Baby, What a Big Surprise (#4)

Jan-78: Little One (#44)

May-78: Take Me Back to Chicago (#63)

POST-KATH:

Oct-78: Alive Again (#14)

Dec-78: No Tell Lover (#14)

Mar-79: Gone Long Gone (#73)

Aug-79: Must Have Been Crazy (#83)

Oct-79: Street Player (#91 – R&B)*

Jul-80: Thunder and Lightning (#56)

Oct-80: Song for You (n/a)

WARNER BROS. ERA:

May-82: Hard to Say I'm Sorry (#1)

Sep-82: Love Me Tomorrow (#22)

Jan-83: What You're Missing (#81)

Apr-84: Stay the Night (#16)

Jul-84: Hard Habit to Break (#3)

Nov-84: You're the Inspiration (#3)

Feb-85: Along Comes a Woman (#14)

POST-CETERA:

Aug-86: 25 or 6 to 4 [re-recorded] (#48)

Oct-86: Will You Still Love Me? (#3)

Mar-87: If She Would Have Been Faithful... (#17)

Jun-87: Niagara Falls (#91)

May-88: I Don't Wanna Live Without Your Love (#3)

Sep-88: Look Away (#1)

Jan-89: You're Not Alone (#10)

Apr-89: We Can Last Forever (#55)

Nov-89: What Kind of Man Would I Be? (#5)

Jul-90: Hearts in Trouble (#75)

Jan-91: Chasin' the Wind (#39)

Sunday, May 7, 2023

The 1971 Toyota Corolla that ran forever

In 2018, this article was published in Hemmings... somewhere. I'm not sure if it was just on their website, or in one of their magazines: "Hemmings Motor News," "Classic Car"... or "Muscle Machines," which I doubt. Ironically, it would have been better for the magazine they had ceased publishing in 2017, "Hemmings Sports & Exotic."  I'm posting it here because it's impossible to find since they redesigned their site (and removed the name of the owner; it now just says "Hemmings Contributor"). I only found it by searching forever under the mistaken belief that the car had traveled a million miles. I was lucky enough to speak with the elderly owner in 2019, and he said his curiosity about cars began as a kid, when he lived across from a service station and the owner would let him come by and watch and tinker. And the car was still going strong! In his honor, here's a commercial the same model mentioned in this article, featuring Frank Bonner from WKRP.


This Corolla just keeps rolling

One owner, 610,000 miles and no shortage of stories to tell


In 1971, I purchased a new Toyota Corolla for $2,135, primarily because of the new hemi-head engine. After 36 years, I'm still delighted to wheel it down the freeway at 70 mph. It's taken me 610,000 miles, and never left me stranded, although once I had a close one.


I do all of my own maintenance and repair, except setting the ring and pinion; the first major event was an unexpected differential overhaul at 84,852 miles. The good news came when a diligent parts man found that the 1960s Corona 3.7:1 gearset (versus the stock 4.11:1) would bolt right in. Revs and fuel consumption went down.


In 1976, at 87,584 miles, the engine was losing compression and burning oil. One Saturday, since it needed repair and I have an insatiable curiosity about how things work, I put the car on jackstands and, by evening, only the bare body shell remained: drivetrain out; doors, hood and deck lid off; seats and upholstery out; front suspension pulled; dashboard removed.


Over the next four months, I disassembled every nut and bolt of the entire car except the transmission, because I had bought a low-mileage five speed. Everything was scrutinized, cleaned, lubed or replaced if any wear showed, down to the window regulators and door latches and new wiper motor brushes. The engine deterioration was a fluke; the rings in every cylinder were broken, and the walls deeply scored. Bungled assembly at the factory? Some car carrier jockey revving it to 6,000 rpm on a cold startup? I'll never know.


The brake and clutch cylinders were rusted, so new ones went in, and I used the best-kept secret of auto repair, silicon brake fluid. Thirty years and 500,000 miles later, they are shiny like chrome and have never leaked a drop.


I also performed a few modifications: added a leaf to each rear spring and de-arched them, Koni shocks and struts, cut one coil from each front spring, fabricated a two-inch exhaust system with a long (quiet) glass pack muffler, built new seat mounts and moved the front seats back four inches and installed an electric fan from a Honda. I also removed the choke butterfly and shaft for a little more airflow. It starts at -25F with a couple of squirts from the accelerator pump. Wanting still lower freeway revs, I fitted Nissan Maxima alloy wheels--15 inches in back and 14 inches in front. At 70 mph, I could then turn a comfortable 2,700 rpm (factory stock was 3,900) with 32-35 mpg.


At 182,823 miles, the pinion bearings were again noisy, and I installed a 1974 low-mileage rear axle after swapping in my special-ratio gears. Although not down to the metal, I replaced the brake discs and shoes, and those are still in the car. I use the brakes very little; I'll broadside a corner rather than braking, and often drive 250 miles to Portland without touching them.


With 115,000 miles on the rebuilt engine, which was running well, I re-placed it with an import "60,000 miles max" 3-TC (1,800cc) container engine for $250, replaced the throw-out bearing and clutch disc and rebuilt the transmission. On startup, a piston was ticking audibly, and I suspected it was scored. The mechanic agreed, and they refunded me $125. I kept driving it, and in about 40,000 miles, the noise stopped.


As an investment in safety, at 231,167 miles, I rebuilt the front suspension. The steering gear had always needed adjustment every 20,000 miles. "Normal," said the dealer. Adjustment ran out at 251,000 miles, so I replaced it. It has never been adjusted since.


Starting in 1987, I was driving the car for work, regularly covering all of Oregon, and the old doll was hitting a good stride. My preventative maintenance, using Toyota kits, included a rebuild of carburetor, fuel pump, alternator, starter, water pump and replacement of the fan belt and all cooling system hoses, needed or not, every 100,000 miles. The car was never washed and the damaged sheetmetal began to show superficial rust.


I drove the junkyard engine for another 60,000 and replaced it in December of 1991 with a 1981 3TC engine and five-speed from a $150 wreck I purchased that had 137,000 miles since new. In June of 1992, I replaced the carrier and pinion bearings, and in September of 1993, rebuilt the transmission. (Synchronizers and main shaft are a little fragile.)


By the end of 1993, the Toyota's odometer had reached the 400,000-mile mark. At this time, I was in my 60s and mellowing a little (I'm currently 75). I no longer felt the need to take every corner with the rear end hanging out. I retired in 1997.


The engine that I installed in 1991 now has just over 410,000 miles on it since leaving the factory. It is using some oil (a quart every 1,800 miles) and the compression is down 10 pounds in two cylinders.


My closest scrape with being stranded came in 1991. About halfway through a shortcut on a desert road, the steering wheel whipped to the right and the car slewed sideways. The cause was apparent: The right front wheel was partially folded underneath the car because the inner pivot bolt of the lower suspension arm had fallen out.


I walked back 50 feet and located the bolt, but I had no idea where the nut was. I raised the car with the jack and used several rocks as makeshift jackstands. Reasoning that on acceleration, the right- hand motor mount will press downward, I removed the nut from the motor mount bolt and secured the suspension bolt with it. After tossing away the rocks and letting the car down, I pressed on and reached my destination at 3 a.m.


I have three rules for automotive longevity:


1.) Before driving away, warm the engine one minute in summer and two minutes in winter;


2.) Don't lug it or over-rev it. Keep it in the 2,500 to 4,000 range;


3.) Change the oil and filter faithfully at 3,000 miles and use the best oil;


Several years ago the AAA calculated that the average middle class family, driving two typical SUVs which are traded in every five years, making payments requiring maximum insurance and where all maintenance is performed by a shop, pays 54 cents per mile. I tracked every expenditures for my Corolla for a full year: fuel, oil, filters, tires, all replacement parts and insurance, and the cost came to 5.2 cents per mile.


My friends roll their eyes, and my wife won't ride in it anymore. Bosses have asked me to park on the street rather than in the company parking lot. Strangers view me with contempt and scorn. It's all pure joy--I love it.


A little trivia: If the average speed in my Corolla has been 40 mph for 610,000 miles, I have sat behind the wheel for 24 hours a day for one year, eight months, 26 days, eight hours and 36 minutes.

Tuesday, May 2, 2023

Jon Lovitz on THE PAPER CHASE

"The Paper Chase” was a 1971 book, then a 1973 movie, then a CBS television series for the 1978-79 season... and then it was brought back by fledgling cable network Showtime! They aired 7 monthly episodes in 1983… and then new episodes every summer in 1984 (12), 1985 (12), and 1986 (6). Season two encompasses the 1983-84 episodes, season three is 1985, season four (when they graduate) is 1986. This is from the season two finale on August 21, 1984: Jon Lovitz plays an angry law student. This
episode ("Billy Pierce")  also includes Lynn Swann and was directed by Corey Allen of "Hill Street Blues" Pretty good acting by Lovitz; I tweeted this and he responded by saying it was his first acting job and then -- for two years -- nothing! And then came SNL...



Tuesday, April 25, 2023

Ira Needleman on SNL

The non-Lorne Michaels years were hit-or-miss for "Saturday Night Live" but here’s a definite hit… IRA NEEDLEMAN from May 5, 1984! Gary Kroeger says this film bought him another season on the show.

And I have just learned that Bebe Neuwirth is one of the dancers! She’s most visible at 0:22 (lower right) and then again at the end. That means the only “Cheers” stars never to appear on SNL were Nick Colasanto (Coach, who passed away in early 1985) and Shelley Long (Diane, who was supposedly slated to host during SNL’s 10th season 1984-85, but Long’s pregnancy and a writer’s strike made that impossible). Ted Danson, Kirstie Alley, George Wendy, Woody Harrelson and Kelsey Grammer have all hosted, and John Ratzenberger (Cliff) made a cameo with his fellow castmembers when Kirstie hosted in 1991.

When Siskel & Ebert appeared on the SNL "Film Fest" (March 2, 1985), they were inexplicably lukewarm on Needleman. Siskel felt it was implausible that Needleman's seeming discomfort with video dating technology precluded him from production an epic, MTV-style video. (This is more apparent in the prologue, which is not included in the video below). I really like S&E but they often missed the point when it came to comedies (e.g. Pee Wee's Big Adventure, Fast Times at Ridgemont High, Silver Streak, being just a few examples)