Alan Thicke, Thicke of the Night, and other terrible TV shows through time

NOTE: This post was written last week, before the untimely death of Mr. Thicke.  It wasn't even scheduled to go live until next week.  However, in the interest of timeliness, I have re-scheduled it so people can appreciate his efforts and sense of humor about himself.

-Thicke Of The Night (1984): this show is legendarily bad; Thicke said it was ahead of its time and should have aired in 2084, after all the participants had passed away.  This episode starts with a meta cold open in which he walks off to protect his reputation as a talk show host, name-checking Phil Donahue and David Letterman.

-"Not Necessarily The News" (1984): one of the first HBO original shows, from the "hilarious" people behind ABC's "Fridays." Wasting Stuart Pankin in a too-clever, contrived, high-school-level production is a shame:


-Steampipe Alley (1988): this is just the first few minutes. Mario Cantone is a great comedian, and this show wasn't bad, but his energy here was always way too much for me. Maybe since I'm not from New York.


-The Beach Boys on "Home Improvement" (1997): this is from soon before Carl Wilson died, and the whole thing is just too pat and cutesy. Tim Allen's faux-wonder at hearing the band sing is irritating, and seeing the 12-year-old with a pony tail (Al Jardine's son, Matt?) as part of the group is just weird.  Why are they singing "Surfer Girl" in the middle of a Michigan winter, to a grown man?  These guys should have called it quits in 1973.  Mike Love has let the fame go to his head.


-Tom Jones and Loretta Swit on "Donny & Marie" (1978): it's a weird enough grouping until they start to sing Johnny Cash's "Daddy Sang Bass"... and alter the words to be MORE secular ("in the sky, up in the sky" instead of "in the sky, Lord, in the sky"). The YouTube heading calls this a "comedy skit" for some reason.


-A clip from the awful, short-lived 1993 "Chevy Chase Show."  Goldie Hawn still thinks she's a teenager, and her actual teenaged son (in the audience) gets a nationally televised birthday! Who cares?! This is probably the only time this overprivileged little #&$% has been on TV. Also, Chevy's uncomfortable dancing would have made flop sweat seem like a welcome change.


-William Shatner singing "Keep it Gay" on the "Mike Douglas Show." This isn't so much bad but just odd, because it's been edited (by the sensitive folks at the Comedy Central Roasts, where this originates) to seem homoerotic. It's actually a bouncy take on this tune, which I have been unable to find anywhere else.


-Battle of the Network Stars: Robert Conrad vs. Gabe Kaplan... why this was major news back then is anyone's guess, but it's nice to see Telly Savalas and Howard Cosell weighing in, as well as Conrad looking silly.


-Erik Estrada (as Frank Poncherello) disco dances and sings on CHiPs. WHY WHY WHY?!?!  How did this show last 5 seasons?!


-David Hasselhoff in "Revenge of The Cheerleaders": Years ago, this clip was shown on "Late Night with Conan O'Brien," but I was unable to find the whole thing until now. "The Hoff" looks 12, and must weigh about 100 lbs. here. I'm not sure why everyone laughs at his solo spot (which he seems VERY eager to do); is that a reference to something else in the film? I've only scrubbed through the movie once, and only remember a scene where one gross cheerleader uses a banana to excite some of the basketball players.


-"Disco Duck" is one of the worst songs ever made. I'll spare you the versions of Rick Dees singing on "Midnight Special" or "The Brady Bunch Variety Hour." Here, the song is "brought to life" by the awkwardly near-naked dancers of the BBC's "Top of the Pops." The director is sick.


-"United States" promo (1980): this was a very short-lived sitcom on NBC, at a time when they were desperate to try anything (the Fred Silverman years, 1978-81). The show was shot on tape, with no audience or music, and starred Beau Bridges. Larry Gelbart created this thing, and was likely given carte blanche. This is repeatedly mentioned in Vince Waldron's 1986 book on the greatest sitcoms of all-time, but has since disappeared (understandably) and also been reviled (inexplicably). Judging by the promo, this was a difficult show to watch.


-Six O'Clock Follies (1980): I asked Gary David Goldberg about this years ago and he had vague memories, and said it likely didn't exist anymore. Well, this segment did survive: the opening credits. Joe Cocker's song is so incredibly out-of-place and irritating, it's a wonder this lasted past the first broadcast. Grant Tinker mentions this as a trying project in his 1993 book.


-When producer/NBC exec Dick Ebersol took over SNL in 1981, Al Franken went on the air to sarcastically extol Ebersol's humor credits, citing the 1978 sitcom "Rollergirls" in particular. Here's the opening credits, complete with sexy girls, semi-catchy late-70s music, and not much else.


-The Mary Tyler Moore Hour (aka Mary): Moore's two variety show comebacks from the late 70s both flopped, despite some stellar talent (David Letterman, Dick Shawn, James Hampton, Swoosie Kurtz), and the story is well-told elsewhere. Here's a few clips.  The first is "With a Little Luck," which has been shown on Letterman's "Late Show" to embarrass Dave in the past.

-And finally, the first episode to air (I believe) with the "hilarious" "Saturday Night Virus."  Actually, the visit to the WJM newsroom isn't bad...